If you’re meeting a middle-schooler for the first time, the standard questions (name? grade? school?) are the obvious starting point. But since many 11- to 13-year olds haven’t yet learned how to carry a conversation, it’s up to you to keep things going.

One of the easiest ways to do that is by saying, “Tell me about your xxx” where xxx is the kid’s t-shirt (assuming it has a graphic or phrase on it – please don’t ask them to tell you about their plain old navy blue tee), cap, earrings, cast, instrument case, nail-polish (ask the color, ladies – it matters to them; guys, don’t ask about this), shoes, or anything else that’s easily seen and identified.

Once you’ve met a kid and broken the ice, here are 3 different question categories to keep things rolling:

1. Would you rather questions.

You can find hundreds of these lists online – most of which are entirely out-of-bounds for any ministry setting. Brainstorm a list with your leadership team. Here are few to get you started:

• Would you rather have a dragon or be a dragon?
• Would you rather eat frog legs or drink broccoli juice?
• Would you rather wear a snowsuit in the desert or a bathing suit in Antartica?
• Would you rather give up your phone for a day or pizza for a year?
• Would you rather always wear a blindfold or a nose plug?
• Would you rather have a kangaroo or a koala for your pet?
• Would you rather be able to only whisper or only shout?
• Would you rather be a cat or a dog?
• Would you rather visit the deep sea or deep space?
• Would you rather have an elephant trunk or a giraffe neck?
• Would you rather be a Disney princess/hero or a Disney villain for a day?
• Would you rather give up your phone for a year or wait until you’re 18 to drive?
• Would you rather eat an entire box of Lucky Charms or an entire bag of Doritos?
• Would you rather eat breakfast food for dinner or dinner food for breakfast?

Follow up with, “Really? Why?” to keep the conversation going.

2. What’s your favorite questions. Easy Peasey:

• favorite movie
• favorite snack
• favorite song
• favorite book (“I’m allergic to books” doesn’t count)
• favorite tv show
• favorite hobby
• favorite cartoon character
• favorite food
• favorite ice-cream flavor
• favorite pizza topping
• etc.

3. If you could questions. Here are a few to jumpstart your own list:

• If you could take a vacation anywhere, where would you go?
• If you could skip school and do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?
• If you could have any meal you wanted, what would it be?
• If you could go to any concert, what would it be?
• If you could be on a tv show, what would it be and what character would you be?
• If you could call any celebrity right now, who would you call and what would you say?
• If you could ask (insert famous name here) any question, what would it be?
• If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be?
• If you could jump 10 years into the future, where would you live and what would you be doing?
• If you could write a book, what would it be about?
• If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
• If you could have been the inventor of anything that already exists, what would it be?
• If you could invent something brand new, what would it do?

It’s up to you to start and maintain a conversation with a middle schooler. But it’s not up to you to carry the conversation as a monopoly. Be sure you give them space to respond and ask their own questions in return. Not only will you be doing great ministry; you’ll also be teaching and modeling an important life skill.